The Divorce Recovery Ladder
Born from a Contentious Divorce
No one can ever prepare you for a divorce.
No matter how educated you are or successful your career is, a divorce will take the wind out of your sails.
At the time of my divorce, I scoured the Internet to find as much information as I could about how to navigate through it. Each night, after my two children went to bed, I would research every aspect of divorce. There was so much information but, I could not find any specific site or product that really helped me. There was abundant information about divorce and finances but it was so overwhelming. I read books by other women who had been through a divorce and each one was more about how horrible their husbands were instead of how to get through the divorce. Then there were the articles about how badly divorce affects children. Day after day, I exhausted myself trying to find a concise how-to divorce book. With all the how-to books on the market, I was surprised not to find something that could help me.
It was then that I decided to develop a program for myself and other people going through the same experience.
Of course, I had to go through my divorce first…
Divorce was an isolation experience for me. It seemed like everyone around me was happily married. My friends and family supported me but, at the end of the day, I was alone. I had two children who needed me. I had a household to take care of and a business to operate as well. I felt like my life was beyond my control. I had to do something. Totally frustrated, one day I decided I was going to organize my life. I went to a nearby office supply store and bought a portable hanging folder file and some hanging folders. When I got home, I made a folder for every aspect of my divorce – attorney, finance, children, taking care of myself, to name a few. Each time something applied to that topic, I dropped the paperwork into the file. I made corresponding spreadsheets for each of the files to catalog all of my paperwork. This was incredibly helpful as paperwork, filings, depositions, interrogatories became my new normal.
As I went through the divorce process, I envisioned that I was on a ladder beginning at the bottom rung. The ladder became a metaphor as each rung represented an accomplishment. I kept telling myself that I was taking one step at a time and I would make it to the top. I am happy to say that I have been divorced for almost eight years. My life is full with family and friends. My two children are in college and the three of us have a great relationship. I have love, laughter, and fun in my life. I won’t say divorce was an easy process because it wasn’t. The children and I are forever changed. Some of it is not for the better and some of it is clearly for the best. I am able to say that there is life after divorce – a great one indeed.
About Susan Shofer, The Divorce Consultant
Susan Shofer’s history as a private investigator for over 20 years along with successfully coming out the other side of her own toxic divorce experience has led her to be an expert in how to navigate around the contention and live an enriched happy life. Susan brings a quick wit and humor to her presentations alongside a positive outlook for any situation no matter how bleak it may seem.
Susan is an agency licensed private investigator of 24 years and was the owner of a local detective agency until 2013 when she turned her focus on helping people with the challenges of contentious divorces.
The Divorce Recovery Ladder is a comprehensive; interactive section with checklists and charts to help you better organize your life and maintain emotional, physical and financial balance. The Divorce Recovery Podcast Program is a nine-part interactive series of worksheets with podcast instructions to arrange your life so that your divorce process is as least cluttered as possible.
Susan has a Master’s Degree from Johns Hopkins University and a Bachelor’s Degree from the University of Maryland. In addition to twenty years experience as a private investigator, Susan began her career working for a nationally known investment firm. Susan also was President of Parent Network of Greater Baltimore where she coordinated parent education lectures and workshops for Baltimore private school community.
Susan has two children – a daughter and a son.