Recently, I spent some time with a Celebrant. We discussed her work in helping people embrace a transition and personal transformation, and naturally I shared my enthusiasm for Divorce Ceremonies. It’s no secret, I feel downright passionate about marking the occasion of a divorce (we deserve to celebrate!). I often write and talk about the importance of ritual in our culture, and how a ceremony can offer closure as well as recognition of a new beginning. It’s a big deal, and deserves a big to-do.
But, perhaps there’s something I’ve been missing. Because divorce is such a big deal, it tends to be a long process full of intimidating tasks and emotional twists and turns. As important as it is to mark the occasion of starting a new chapter, it’s also important to celebrate the small stuff along the way.
Here’s a list of some things you might want to celebrate as you move through your divorce journey:
- Opening an individual checking/savings account.
- Making it all the way to the shower before crying
- Going out with friends and truly enjoying yourself
- Sitting in silence without feeling alone and/or afraid
- Navigating some extra-crazy kid stuff, all by yourself
- Buying a different car
- Purging old remnants from the basement, attic or garage
- Finalizing any piece of your divorce agreement
- Finding a new place to live
- Learning something new
When you celebrate the small stuff, you’re not just recognizing your personal progress. You’re also training your brain to focus on accomplishments rather than setbacks. This type of attitude adjustment will continue to benefit you in all areas of life as you take on whatever challenges might arise.
What mini-milestones have you celebrated? And how have you marked them?