My Ex-Husband is Threatening Me

Letters from Readers

Letters from Readers – Navigating Threats and Nasty Emails

Hi Susan,

I am very scared of my ex-husband.  He has threatened to take our children away from me.  Every day he threatens me and sends me emails cussing me out and everything.  I know you had a rough divorce.  Maybe you can give me some ideas on what to do.

Thanks so much.  What you are doing is very important.


Hello Janet,

I am very sorry that you are experiencing threats from your ex-husband.  I can imagine how frightened the emails and threats can be and how hopeless they make you feel.

I want to begin by sharing my mantra with you and that is:

You cannot change another person. You can only decide how to react to them.

As much as you would like to stop your ex-husband’s threats and emails, you may not be able to.  However, you can circumvent his behavior.  Since I don’t know the specifics of the threats or the nature of the emails, it is difficult for me to suggest any definitive action, so I have to generalize here.

If you have an attorney, you must inform him/her of any communication from your ex-husband that you feel is threatening so that your attorney can take the necessary plan of action.  If your ex-husband is threatening to take your children from you, it may be time for your attorney to petition the courts for your children’s father to have supervised visitation.  This means that each time he visits with them, a social worker will be present to assure that he does not say anything to the children that would be considered parental alienation, nor could he violate the visitation from keeping them beyond the assigned visitation times.

Should your ex-husband threaten your physical well-being, you must make a police report as well as inform your attorney.

Physical threats have to be taken seriously and the appropriate measures need to be made to keep you safe.  You can further keep yourself safe and only respond to the emails or conversations regarding the children.   Keep all communication with him very short and stay on point. Do not let him derail the communications.  Take extra safety precautions and keep your doors and windows closed and locked at all times.  Don’t venture out alone any more than what is absolutely necessary.

Janet, I know this is a scary time.  Please communicate your concerns with your lawyer so that the appropriate measures can be taken to keep you and your children safe.

Let me know about your progress.

Your friend,




The Divorce Recovery Ladder Workbook and Program were inspired by Susan’s own
contentious divorce and triumph battling severe Parental Alienation.
Susan began her professional career in the financial industry working for an International Investment Firm.
After that, she was an agency licensed private investigator for two decades where she amassed thousands of court testifying hours.

Topics covered include: Realization of the situation | Attorneys | Finances | Children | Parental Alienation | Courts & Evidence | Recognizing Retaliation | Dating Again