Letter: How Do I Find The Perfect Divorce Attorney

Letters From Readers

I am in the beginning process of separation. My ex has a shark of a lawyer. I need one too, but don’t know where to begin.  It would be an understatement to say I am scared to death.

Shaking in Baltimore.

Hi Shaking,
After having four attorneys, I can state without an ounce of hesitation that getting the perfect attorney is paramount to your success. If you are involved in a contentious divorce, which it sounds like you are, I would take the extra time to find the one you need who can go head-to-head with a “shark” as your described your soon-to-be-ex’s lawyer.
A contentious divorce is horrible and it is even worse if you are not properly represented. Trust me, four lawyers later.  If your husband has hired a “shark” attorney, he has waged war with you.  He is paying his attorney to get everything to go his way.  We all know that doesn’t happen in divorce however, you can get the short end of the stick.
It is imperative that you interview several attorneys before you decide on one. Some ask for consultation fees and others don’t. I would, if I had it to do again, take $1,000 and interview five attorneys, plus those who don’t require consult fees.  The first thing you must convey is that you are involved in a high conflict divorce and you need their absolute assurance that they know how to navigate through one.  Don’t fall for the “I see these kinds of divorces all the time.”  NO THEY DON’T. If I had a $100 dollar bill for everytime I heard that, I’d be a millionaire by now.  Many attorneys understand the typical contentious divorce.  Very few know how to deal with the challenges of an unrelenting shark.
The first question you need to ask is have them tell you how they define a toxic or high conflict divorce. If they are able to describe what you are going through, then you may have a potential attorney who will fight for you. Remember, they work for YOU. It is not the other way around.