The Toxic Divorce: Why A Workbook?

By: Susan Shofer, The Divorce Coach

From The Divorce Recovery Ladder Workbook

The chaos that surrounded me, during my divorce, was so overwhelming that each day I clambered to find some semblance of order in my life.  My energies were pulled in so many different directions that I didn’t know where to turn.  I felt inundated with demands and responsibilities.  I became ineffective at everything I
did as I tried to work, maintain a 4400-square foot house and meet the needs of my two very traumatized children.

I felt like I was an island unto myself and knew that my children and I would suffer if I was unable to organize my life.  To get on task, I purchased a binder, notebook paper and pack of dividers to start.  In the binder, I made sections for each area of my divorce process – one for legal, finance, therapy, the children, and self-care.  The more organized I became, even if only from a very surface stance, my overall perspective shifted from one of despair to that of hope.  Don’t get me wrong, despite being organized I still had a huge hill to climb.  Putting things into order enabled me to compartmentalize what was happening, take each area of the divorce and tackle the issues head on.

My life, as I had known it for years, was no longer the same and my future was uncertain.  I had been thrown a huge curve ball when my ex-husband walked out on the children and me with checkbook in hand.  However, I knew that as long as I was organized, I could handle whatever came my way.  Divorce is bad enough but a toxic divorce is horrendous with the potential to put your life in a tailspin unless you organized.  This workbook is designed to help you structure your life from caving into the perils a toxic divorce.

The Divorce Recovery Ladder is the program that I could have benefitted from during my divorce.  From the very beginning of my toxic divorce,  I envisioned myself climbing a ladder,  starting at the bottom rung where I stood bare, raw and exposed.  As I progressed through my journey, step by step,  I eventually rose to the top of the ladder – strong and confident.  This imagery,  along with the actual work, made me triumphant.  This is the process I want to share with you.

The  Divorce Recovery  Ladder workbook is divided into two sections.  The first section defines the toxic divorce to help you recognize the key components of one.  The second section, is comprehensive; interactive with checklists and charts to help you better organize your life and maintain emotional, physical and financial balance.  Even the subtle suggestions, made in the workbook, can help restore your life to a place of comfort and solace.